CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

May 9, 2004

When it comes to good humor,
moms write the book

by Paige Wiser Sun-Times Columnist

This week’s argument: That Mom needs another parenting guide like she needs another vacuum attachment. In honor of Mother’s Day, there is a fine selection of recently published books that celebrate the precious, sacred bond between matriarch and child. I’m not interested in those. Instead, here’s what all the cool moms will be reading today:

The Three-Martini Playdate: A Practical Guide to Happy Parenting by Christie Mellor (Chronicle Books, $12.95)

Harried mothers who have given over their lives to their adorable little angels, beware: This book is the equivalent of a cocktail in the face. You may even forget to patiently count to three the next time tiny Tallulah needs a time-out. “Let us be perfectly frank,” writes Mellor. “You were here first.” The empowerment is almost unbearable! “It’s time to warm up the ice cubes, curl up on the sofa, and send darling Spencer into the other room to play by himself,” insists Mellor. The book details the glories of saying no to your children, explains when you’ve gone too far in childproofing your home, laments our over-reliance on camcorders (“a disease”) and suggests that the Tooth Fairy is getting robbed. Best of all, there’s a recipe for teaching your tot how to mix a simple martini just the way you like it — with lots of alcohol…